


if you can't trust your partner (who can you trust?)

by batofgoodintent (crownedcrusader)



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Barbara Gordon - Freeform, But none within the story, Catalina Flores - Freeform, Koriand'r/Starfire - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Sexual Assault, and how kori broke up with dick because mirage raped him, anyways im salty as fuck, like how barbara broke up with dick because tarantula kissed him, mentions of past rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 13:37:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10537584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedcrusader/pseuds/batofgoodintent
Summary: It's not the first time a villain has kissed Nightwing on the field.It's just the first time Wally has noticed how it affects his boyfriend. The first time after years of friendship that he's cared.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Serious warnings for rape/non-con. Mentions of Tarantula and Mirage and everything they did to Dick in canon. Mentions of past victim-blaming. Mentions of current victim-blaming. Mentions of kissing without consent, and sex without consent. 
> 
> You have been warned.

“…Are you okay?”

Dick found himself wiping his wrist across his mouth, his uniform glove coming back with pink lipstick. He grimaced. With the movement, he found himself breaking out of the daze he’d slipped into, stunned and quiet after the unexpected— _unwanted_ —kiss from the Titans’ most recent enemy.

No matter the reputation Dick had made for himself, somehow the kisses still came as a surprise. Part of him wondered what it was about him that made the villainesses (and even villains) think he was such fair game—but he didn’t have the heart to pursue that train of thought. Or the time. Not when Wally was still staring at him with unbridled concern.

Wally didn’t have the time to pursue that train of thought either, unfortunately. Though they were together _off_ the field, when they were on the field they were _teammates_ , not boyfriends. 

…Though, Dick didn’t want to think about the lecture that would be coming once they were off the field.

There was a moment’s panic where Dick wondered what Wally would say to him once they were home—if he’d be angry, or upset with Dick for getting kissed by another villainess. It had happened before, after all. He didn’t want to think of all the irritated comments previous teammates-slash-partners had given him for getting kissed by the enemy. And he definitely didn’t want to think of both times he’d been broken up with for that very reason.

Dick didn’t want to believe Wally would do the same. But, he had to admit, there was precedent.

Either way, though, he couldn’t afford to have this conversation here. Not when there were still enemies that needed to be taken care of. Not when there was still a battle to be won. Not when Wally was still standing over him with a hand outstretched, allowing Dick to realize he was still sitting on his ass in the middle of a fight—and for _what_?

(The word ‘shock’ entered his mind, but he hastily scrubbed it away. At the same time, his hand reached up to his face again, wiping his mouth with the side of his hand. Dick wondered when he’d stop feeling the phantom presence of the kiss.)

Dick finally grabbed Wally’s hand and pulled himself up, sighing with relief once he was back on his feet.

Wally was still looking expectantly at him, and Dick blinked, recalling only distantly that he’d been asked a question. His hesitation just seemed to make Wally more worried, though, so Dick searched his memories for what Wally had most likely asked.

‘Are you okay?’ came to mind again, and even if he couldn’t remember it _exactly_ , he could picture Wally’s face all too well as he must have said it. Dick felt guilt pool in his stomach for the worry he must have been making his boyfriend feel over something so insignificant.

So he opened his mouth and forced words out, ignoring the trembling of his throat. “I— _yeah_. Yeah, I’m fine,” he finally said. Wally didn’t look like he believed him, so Dick placed a hand on Wally’s shoulder, giving it a pat. “Let’s just get these guys taken care of, okay?”

“Already got you covered,” Wally said. There was a reassuring smile on his face, but it didn’t make Dick feel better in the slightest. “Most of them have been knocked out, and Donna doesn’t seem to want anyone interfering with her fight.”

Dick glanced back, where Donna was finishing off the last of the enemy. It seemed to be someone important, though not the one who’d kissed Dick.

Guilt settled into his stomach as he wondered what had happened to that person, and if anyone other than he or Wally had seen.

“We’re heading back to the Tower after this,” Wally said, bringing Dick back to himself. He reached forward and took hold of his cheek, directing Dick’s gaze back at him. Dick wasn’t sure if he appreciated the gesture yet or not. “Grabbing pizza, I think. You look like you could use a bite.”

Dick’s mouth felt entirely too dry for eating. “No, I, uh,” he started, swallowing a little painfully. “Think I want to head to the training room. My head wasn’t in the game this fight—gotta work off some energy somehow, since I wasn’t a heavy hitter this time.”

Wally looked at him critically for a moment, lips pressing into a thin line. The expression was gone so quickly that Dick almost believed he’d imagined it, and it was soon replaced with a reassuring smile that Dick knew he didn’t deserve. “Alright,” he finally said. “I’ll catch you tonight, okay?”

“…Yeah.” He glanced back at Donna, who’d just thrown the final blow, knocking out the last of their adversaries. Wally ran off, then, evidently picking up the bodies before they could wake, and Dick was left staring at nothing for a moment before he snapped out of his daze. Despite there being no one to see or hear him, he managed a forced smile and said forlorn, “See you later.”

\--

‘Later’ came after two hours at the training room. He’d planned to only spend one there; and yet, his mind was working overtime, and he couldn’t bring himself to stop his body when his mind was racing. All he wanted to do was exhaust his body so his mind would follow suit—but that breaking point never seemed to come.

Though he could have spent four hours working out at full strength before burning out, two was still a lot on a day with a mission—even if he had been support rather than a main player.

He was just starting to debate whether it was worth it to keep going when he heard footsteps behind him. Though he wasn’t sure if it was Bat-paranoia setting in or lingering anxiety from earlier in the day, Dick felt the hair on the back of his neck rise up. In an instant, he flipped backwards, landing behind where he estimated the threat to be, and—

“Dick. _Babe_. Maybe save that for someone who doesn’t have his hands full?”

Dick landed just inches behind Wally, and nearly sunk to his knees in relief when he realized it was _just_ Wally. …And when he realized Wally was about as nonthreatening as could be. He was dressed in loose, comfortable clothes, and holding a tray of—

“Is that hot chocolate?”

“Glad to see your eyes still work,” he said with a smile. “Hot chocolate’s just meant to tempt you, though—the real food’s back in your room.”

Dick glanced between the cocoa and Wally’s eyes, seeming to debate whether or not to ask anything else, to stall, to say he needed to finish his workout first, to apologize for what happened earlier. Because, if Wally was giving him hot cocoa, that either meant that he knew Dick was upset, or he was about to deliver bad news, because that’s what Wally _did_. He softened the bad news, made it seem like things were fine before delivering the final blow, and—

As if seeing the internal crisis Dick was having, Wally pressed a cup of cocoa into Dick’s hand. “Drink. Breathe.”

Dick closed his eyes over the cup, looking somewhere between anxious and irritated at being order, but he did as instructed.

“Okay,” Wally said, looking mollified. “Now, we’re gonna go up to your room, and we’re gonna talk, okay?”

It wasn’t quite the dreaded, ‘ _Let’s talk_ ,’ but Dick’s stomach sunk all the same. He kept as good of a poker face as he could, unable to quite manage his trademark easygoing smile over the top of the mug. “What about?”

Wally gave him an unimpressed quirk of the lips. “About how that girl kissed you earlier, during the mission.” 

Dick looked away, jaw muscle tightening imperceptibly.

He knew it wasn’t enough of a statement to draw a real conclusion from, but all the same, it riled his defenses.

Because…

Because, …He’d thought Wally wasn’t that type of person. He’d thought—for five whole seconds, he’d _actually thought_ —that Wally wouldn’t be mad. That he wouldn’t care. That he wouldn’t blame Dick.

His throat tightened, and Dick set the cocoa down on the platform next to the bars. “I don’t think I want to talk about that. Thanks but no thanks.”

“Dick.” Wally placed a hand on his shoulder, eyes dead serious when he stepped in front of his boyfriend and made him look up at him. “We’ve talked about this, okay? You told me about what—about what Tarantula did to you.”

Dick pressed his lips into a thin line, then lightly knocked Wally’s hand off his shoulder before turning and starting away. “I don’t want to talk about that,” he repeated. “Besides, this—whatever happened back there, it wasn’t about _that_. So drop it.”

When he heard footsteps behind him, Dick tensed, but when Wally started with a, “Look, just hear me out for five seconds,” he lost his temper.

“You told me before that the word ‘no’ matters to you, _so I need you to act like it_ ,” he snapped. His hands clenched by his sides, but they didn’t do much for intimidation when he realized they were shaking. “She’s the last person I want to be thinking about right now. So can you just…”

Wally’s voice was quieter, almost soothing when he spoke up again, still a fair distance behind Dick. “Okay,” he promised. “I believe you. I’ll drop it. But… Dick, if she’s not the issue, then what is?”

Dick opened his mouth to tell Wally that there was no issue, but he knew it was useless. He’d been too obvious, apparently. For all that speedsters didn’t have bat detective training, they were pretty damn perceptive—especially with their ability to slow down time and look people over for as long as they wanted to, so they could decipher their body language. Dick let his shoulders relax from their tense position, closing his eyes and taking a few slow, deep breaths before he felt calm enough to keep talking.

For all that the ten seconds of calm helped, it didn’t fix him entirely. So when Dick turned around, he found that he still couldn’t totally make eye-contact. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair, only stopping once he’d reached the back of his neck. He held his hand there, rubbing it absently. “…I don’t—I don’t need you to pretend like it’s not a big deal to you, you know.” He bit the inside of his cheek, choosing his words carefully. “If you’re angry about what happened back there, just… _tell_ me, and we can move on.”

When he looked up, Wally was staring at him, expression almost unreadable.

“…Of _course_ I’m angry,” Wally finally said. For a second, Dick felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, because _he had trusted Wally not to react like_ they _did_ — “But the way you’re talking about it, it sounds like you think I’m angry with _you_.”

Dick wondered if the trembling in his lips and jaw was visible.

There was a damn good chance that it was; Wally’s expression softened immediately.

“Hey, it’s—okay, it’s not alright, but…” he started, taking a step forward and holding up a hand, clearly asking for permission to touch him. Dick bit the inside of his cheek, debating it for a second before he nodded, finding himself soon thrust into a tight hug. “C’mere. Can we take this upstairs? I don’t want someone walking in on us by accident, and I think we need to talk about this some more.”

Dick nodded, and all too fast, he found himself upstairs in his own room, the door clicking shut behind them.

His hands shouldn’t still be shaking, he knew; so he clutched the bed-sheets and prayed it wouldn’t be noticeable if he kept them there.

But just when he thought he’d get away with it, Wally was handing him a plate with no small amount of pizza on it, and he knew he’d have to eat at least a slice. Dick willed his hands to stop shaking, to no avail.

Fortunately, Wally (despite his usual tactlessness) didn’t comment on it. Instead, he sat down next to him and draped an arm around Dick’s shoulders.

The touch was friendly, and for a second, Dick almost imagined they were high schoolers again. Despite how much he loved Wally in the romantic sense, the non-intimate touch helped more than he wanted to admit.

“So,” Wally finally said, after allowing the room to be quiet for a few minutes as Dick ate. “I’m not mad at you for what happened. But… what I really want to know is why you thought I would be.”

Dick finished off the last bite of pizza, already regretting eating now that his stomach had started churning again. “…It happens a lot,” he finally said. “Villains—especially women—…they, um. They do that sometimes.”

“I’ve noticed,” Wally said, sounding a touch irritated—though obviously not with Dick. “But that doesn’t, like, answer my question, babe.”

“…Doesn’t it bother you?”

Wally frowned, looking for all the world confused as he looked his boyfriend over. “It bothers me,” he agreed, “But that’s not—I wouldn’t be mad at you for that, Dick. They’re the ones that are touching you like that. It’s not—even if you… hadn’t gone through some of what you have,” he started, and when Dick tensed, he rushed on through, “—It still wouldn’t be okay. Look, kissing’s still—it’s something you don’t do unless it’s with someone you want to do it with, so for someone to force something like that on you, whether as a distraction or _anything_ , it’s not okay. I thought—I thought you knew that?”

Dick’s throat felt tight, and he brought up a hand to scrub down his face. “I did. I _do_. It’s—look, I know it’s wrong for them to do it, yeah. Makes me feel like I’m gonna be sick half the time.” The arm around him tightened a little, and Dick sighed, finally trying to relax again. “But I just… I don’t know. I just—I don’t know what it is about me, that makes them think that they need to do that. To force that on me.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Wally gently pushed on Dick’s shoulder, turning towards Dick and coaxing Dick to do the same. “Babe. It’s not—there’s nothing _you’re_ doing wrong. Villains still did that when you were dressed as _Discowing_ , so it’s not even a matter of dress or style or anything.”

That actually forced a laugh from Dick, dry and humorless as it was. “I know. I know, Wally. I know everything there is to know about victim-blaming, okay?”

“Then why are you doing it to yourself?”

It was a reasonable question, but all at once, Dick just felt _tired_.

Tired of keeping this stuff to himself, tired of pretending like it didn’t matter. For the first time, someone actually seemed to give a shit if he’d been put into uncomfortable situations.

Maybe it was that, and maybe he was tired from training, and maybe he wasn’t in the best state of mind to make decisions about what to tell his boyfriend.

But damn it all, he was exhausted, and he was tired of pretending that what happened to him didn’t matter. So Dick took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and made the decision to tell him.

“You know how you mentioned villains still… doing that to me, even when I was dressed in earlier costumes?” he asked. And when Wally nodded, Dick gulped. “I, …I don’t know if you remember, when I was still with Kori. And that… that whole thing, with, um, Mirage.”

Wally’s brows furrow, as if trying to remember the incident. “…Vaguely,” he admitted. “Can you catch me up a little?”

Despite Dick’s mouth rapidly drying, he did his best to explain. “She, uh, …Mirage, she was a shapeshifter. And she posed as Kori, while Kori was missing for a few days. I didn’t—I didn’t know that she was… that she wasn’t Kori. We, um.” His stomach turned. “We kind of—we sort of…”

Wally’s hand gave Dick’s shoulder a squeeze, bringing him back to the present. “I think I can figure it out from there,” he said carefully. “I didn’t… I didn’t realize, Dick. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m your best friend, I should have realized—”

Dick let out another humorless laugh, feeling angry tears welling up at the memory. “No, that’s not even—I wasn’t even… That’s not what I was getting at. I mean. It definitely happened, and it was fucked up, but I was talking about how…” He breathed in a shaky breath, scrubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Mirage laughed in my face when I put two and two together, but then… she, um. Kori broke up with me, after. She was mad that I’d slept with someone that wasn’t her. Said I’d cheated, basically, and that she didn’t want anything to do with me. We, uh, got back together eventually, I mean, but— …Wally?”

It took a second to realize that his boyfriend had completely frozen up, but when he did, Dick looked at him with no small amount of concern.

“ _Kori_ did that?”

“No. I mean, yeah, but—look, I see where she was coming from. I mean, I was known for being a flirt, so she—I mean, she couldn’t have…”

Wally shook his head, leaning in closer. “Dick. No. Don’t—don’t try to excuse that. She—fuck, I can’t believe she did that. After all the shit she’s been through, she didn’t even think to ask if you— _obviously_ she had to know that you thought Mirage was her, but she didn’t even…”

“It’s fine. It was a long time ago,” Dick said. But, in saying that, his face crumpled a little, and with it came a few of his walls. “I… I mean, it’s not—at least… At least when Kori broke up with me for that, she looked upset enough that I couldn’t totally blame her for not thinking straight.”

Wally stared at Dick for a second. “…Why are you making it sound like this has happened more than once?”

The tears from earlier felt about like they’d started back up again, and Dick tried for a laugh, but it sounded a bit more like a gasp for air. “Because maybe it has?”

“Dick,” Wally said, and it sounded pained. “What happened?”

“I don’t—it’s just, I hate that everything goes back to _her_. I should have fucking realized that this was—it was like real-life foreshadowing, Wally.”

When his boyfriend’s eyes widened in understanding, his hand faltered for just a second before he pressed it to Dick’s cheek, carefully wiping away the tears. “Hey. Hey, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, this is… Just, don’t… Don’t hold either of these things against Babs or Kori, okay? Kori was too upset to be thinking clearly, and Babs was mad about other stuff.”

Wally pressed his lips into a thin line, clearly taking issue with that request, but he knew Dick wouldn’t open up unless he agreed. So he sighed and said, “Deal.”

That said, Dick let out a slow sigh and tried to calm himself down again. “Okay. _Okay_. She, uh. T… Catalina, she crashed our date—Barbara’s and mine, I mean. And in the middle of the fight, Catalina kissed me. And then kneed me in the groin and escaped.”

Wally looked like he was having trouble holding back the anger and frustration on his face, but the gentleness in his hands didn’t stop just because he was mad. Dick found that he appreciated it. The hand on his cheek was grounding, and he rested one of his own hands over Wally’s, silently asking him to stay where he was.

“After that, we, uh,” he choked a laugh. “We, we went to an amusement park afterwards. And like I said, she was mad about other things—how I kept bringing up the past when she’d _just_ gotten paralyzed and couldn’t do those things anymore—and I get that, now. I shouldn’t have—I should’ve had better self-control about what I said. But then, she, um.” He hesitated a moment, squeezing his eyes shut. “I think her exact words were ‘I’m really tired of the way you always look surprised when your ex-and/or-potential-psycho-love-interests-in-costume plant wet ones on you.’”

Dick just kept his eyes closed for another moment more, reorienting himself and reminding himself that this was here and now, and that the redhead next to him was Wally. Not Babs, not Kori, and definitely not Catalina.

“She… So she, uh,” Wally finally said, sounding as if he was struggling to keep his voice even. Dick opened his eyes, but avoided eye-contact, instead focusing on the bed-sheets. “She and Kori… both broke up with you for variations of the same thing.” Wally took a deep breath. “Mirage actually—she actually did… _everything_ to you. And even if Catalina’s was just a kiss at first, she… went on to do worse. So in hindsight, it makes what she did there… way, way worse.”

Dick nodded.

“Okay. That’s,” Wally started, taking a deep breath. “That’s… that explains a lot.”

“You wanted an explanation for why I thought you’d be pissed at me,” he answered quietly. “…You, um. You’ve got one.”

Wally pulled Dick into a proper hug, squeezing him a little too tight. “I’m sorry, Dick. _Fuck_ , I’m sorry.”

“Wally. It’s _okay_ ,” Dick said firmly, hugging back. His shoulders shook a little, and he still felt about a minute from crying again, but he almost believed his own words.

Wally, however, didn’t. “No. Dick, no, it’s not okay,” he said firmly. “I didn’t even— _no one_ ever even said anything, tried to tell you that it was fucked up that they left you because of that, no one even—no one ever even asks if you’re okay after villains do that to you on the field.”

Dick let out a shaky laugh. “Well. To be fair, you did. Today. I, uh. Didn’t actually know how to respond there for a minute. So—thank you.”

“This isn’t—you shouldn’t feel like you need to thank me,” Wally said. “I’m your boyfriend. And before we were even dating I was your best friend, and I didn’t even…”

“Like I said,” Dick said carefully. “It’s… it’s in the past. I mean. The worst ones are in the past. I can’t really speak for the, um. Villains that want to do that to me in the future.”

The thought of the same thing happening to Dick _again_ made Wally feel sick to his stomach. It was bad enough that it had happened so many times as it was; the fact that Dick _felt_ so sure it would happen again… That was even worse.

“I can’t speak for anything that happens if I’m not there,” Wally finally said. “But you… you know that if I’m there… You know that no one else will do that to you ever again. …Right?”

Dick pulled away enough to look at him, expression pained. He nearly said _I don’t need protection_ , but the thought of avoiding those things—the thought of never having his body used for someone else’s sick pleasure again…

“…I know, babe. Thanks.”

Wally’s lips quivered for half a second, before he leaned in close to press a soft kiss against Dick’s forehead. “I love you, babe. No matter what, okay? And I—look, fuck, I know I’m not the best at dealing with this kind of thing, but I promise you. I’m never going to break up with you for something that wasn’t your fault.”

Dick felt like a weight had been taken from his shoulders; for the first time in what felt like years, he could breathe a little freer. “Yeah,” he said, lifting a hand to wipe away the last of the tear-tracks. “I… I believe you.”

Wally nodded, as if it was the most important thing in the world to have heard that. “Never, ever forget that.”

That said, Wally pulled away, sitting next to him instead.

Dick finally relaxed a little, easing back until his head hit the pillow, and he crossed his arms behind his head. Though he was normally too restless to feel comfortable just staring at the ceiling—quite literally in this case—for once, it felt nice. Relaxing, almost.

The room was quiet for a while, with nothing but the sound of their breath and heartbeats. But finally, Dick offered his boyfriend a hand.

Wally took it, looking a little perplexed.

“Sleep with me tonight,” Dick said. “Not, you know. That way. Not after… talking about all of that. But…”

“ _Sleep_ ,” Wally repeated, nodding. “Yeah, alright. I don’t think I’d ever turn you down for that.” He smiled, shifting down until he was lying next to him, and hovered his face lightly over Dick’s. For a second, he pressed his nose to his boyfriend’s, then kissed the corner of his lips before pulling back.

Dick leaned up and attempted to kiss him back, but fell short. With a small smile, he wrapped one arm around Wally’s neck to pull him back down for a proper kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Wally said. With that, he laid down next to his boyfriend, content to just stay beside him in all the ways he was allowed.  

No matter what other people had done to Dick, no matter what might still happen in the future—Wally chose never to be a part of the problem. If that meant sticking extra close to his boyfriend on missions in the future, then so be it. As long as Wally was there, no one would be taking an unwanted pass at Nightwing ever again.  


End file.
